Online commentators have slammed a stay-at-home mom for refusing to find a job to help pay her family’s bills.
Posting on Reddit’s “Am I the asshole” (AITA) forum under the username u/mucker113, the woman’s husband said he had taken two pay cuts at work and that he didn’t have the “luxury” to look for a new job, so he needs her help.
The post garnered 7,900 upvotes and more than 2,000 comments from Redditors, many of whom criticized the woman for not doing her part to support her partner. You can read the full message here.
In his post, u/mucker113 said he and his wife have three children between the ages of 10 and 15. After the birth of their first child, u/mucker113 told his wife she could be a stay-at-home mom and “raise the kids.”
Unfortunately, he has since taken a few pay cuts and been forced to take part-time weekend food delivery work to pay for their children’s extracurricular activities.
“It becomes a mental strain for me financially,” he said.
To help ease the burden, he asked his wife to get a part-time job, but she refused.
“She told me I lied when I said she [could] being a stay-at-home mom when we got married… and [asked me] if I can’t afford a family, why did I get married,” he wrote.
“I don’t know what to do. I work from home and even offered my wife a part-time job with me while [the] the children are at school [answering] some of my calls and [transfering] properly to the departments they need,” he continued.
He also said his family had taken his wife’s side, and although he reminded them that their “needs had changed”, no one would listen to them.
“My wife hasn’t spoken to me in two weeks,” he concluded.
speaking to Newsweeku/mucker113 said he’s taking things “day by day” right now.
“I loved [my wife] from the moment i laid eyes on her [until] and including today…[but] I just feel like I’m alone on a boat in the middle of the ocean,” he said.
“Our economies are dwindling rapidly, [and] at the rate [we’re going]we’ll be living paycheck after paycheck in a few months, maybe even a month,” he continued. “So I’m taking it day by day and hopefully she changes her mind sooner rather than later. .”
Cost of life
In his message, the man said that his two older children were enrolled in sports programs and that his youngest wanted to start gymnastics. According to a 2019 survey by the Aspen Institute, these programs aren’t exactly cheap. The survey found that parents spend an average of $692 per year per child per sport, ESPN reported.
Of course, some sports cost less than others. The survey found that athletics, for example, costs about $191 per year. Gymnastics, on the other hand, costs about $1,580 and skiing costs about $2,248 annually.
It’s also worth noting that many households took pay cuts last year, CNBC said. Although the average hourly wage rose 4.7% in 2021, inflation rose 7% in December, leading to a 2.4% pay cut for the average worker, the station reported.
“In what has been the best year of wage growth we’ve seen in many, many years, it still represents a loss for many households,” Greg McBride, chief financial analyst at Bankrate, told CNBC. “Their expenses grew even faster and chewed up all the benefits of any salary increase they had seen.”
With all that in mind, many Redditors said u/mucker113 was right to ask his wife to get a job.
“NTA [not the a**hole]. Times are changing, inflation is high, money is tight…and it’s not like your paycheck is entirely in your control,” u/TogetherAgain18 said. help. I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s SUPPOSED to work!”
“Your needs have changed, so the family situation must change. You have never lied to your wife: she was able to be SAHM for 16 years. ‘exhaust,’ u/bamf1701 wrote.
“You’re NTA, but your wife is. Damn, who [the f**k] doesn’t support her partner when things change?” asked u/Final_Difficulty_684. “She’d rather see you working every day and losing your relationships with your kids than helping HER OWN FAMILY? Raw. Your wife and both sides of the family should be ashamed of themselves.”
More Viral Stories
Earlier this month, Mumsnet users lambasted a man who quit his six-figure job without telling his wife.
Last month, commentators slammed a man who told his wife to get a second job and stop “wasting her days”. That same week, another woman went viral for sharing that her husband wouldn’t let her get a job.
8/12/2022, 4:11 PM EST: This article has been updated to include a comment from u/mucker113.