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Editor’s note:This column was originally published in 2019.
My mother and my mother-in-law have a lot in common. Both are creative, hard-working, and love to ask all of us around the Thanksgiving table what we’re grateful for.
No matter where we lived or what our circumstances were, my mother always made sure we recognized the importance of the Thanksgiving message. Even as I slid into my seat as an angsty teenager, she made me answer her question, “Why are you grateful this year?”
Some years I complained. Some years I would beam at the table and recount a year of good grades, success at work, or a project I was proud of.
But this year, as I host for the first time, my definition of grateful has changed. I have seen my family grow around me, as babies are born and siblings grow. Weddings and engagements, new houses and apartments, new jobs and titles.
I also saw pain, despair and sickness, whether in the headlines or in daily life.
I can sit here and write about how wonderful my life is, but that wouldn’t do justice to the hundreds of thousands of homeless people or the 15 million Americans facing food insecurity every day.
I grew up in the food insecure category. I’m a product of the post-9/11 recession that hit a lot of kids in the Poconos. My story is not so different from many others. But despite the difficulties, there were also miracles.
Fontones column:‘Never forget?’ 9/11 is a day my dad would rather not remember
When I was a teenager my family and I lived in Hazleton. My grandfather, Emilio, was battling cancer and we had moved to Luzerne County to be close to him. Times were tough, but I remember my parents working hard so we could have what we needed. Pennsylvania Access, now known as SNAP, filled the gaps and I got a free school lunch. Right after school, I would either leave for my part-time job or go home with my younger brother and sister while my mom and dad worked.
There’s a particular kind of stress that comes from being the older brother, not quite old enough to contribute much, but old enough to understand how difficult things were getting.
I remember it was a few days before Christmas and our cupboards were pretty thin. Our Christmas tree shone with ornaments that my mother had collected for years, and even though we knew we were struggling, I remember being filled with joy for the season. Spending time with family, maybe watching a Christmas playdough movie, or eating treats my grandmother made for us, are traditions that are still dear to me.
I thought more about the meals: seven fish for Christmas Eve dinner, Italian style, and Puerto Rican rice and beans, a slow-cooked pork pernil and maybe plantain-wrapped pastels for the Christmas Day dinner if I was brave enough. Looking back, I don’t even remember wanting gifts, all I could think of was the idea of those two special meals. To this day, I still prioritize cooking over gifts. But I remember being anguished that meals like this would probably cost my parents a lot of change. They would somehow succeed, I knew that, but that didn’t stop me from stressing.
But this Christmas of 2004 was a little different.
My mother had come home a few days before the holidays to find a Christmas card in the mail with no return address. When she opened it, she found money and gift cards from toy stores and supermarkets.
Inside the card was a note typed on scrap paper that read “From a friend.”
Years later, we still don’t know where the card came from.
The hope I felt that Christmas continues with me to this day, and I draw strength from that memory every year.
There are plenty of other teens who see their families struggle with issues like food insecurity, not to mention being able to provide gifts for Christmas. Your donations to our annual Toys for Joy campaign help ease the burden on families every Christmas, so they don’t have to choose between the joy of a holiday meal and even the smallest gift for their children.
On behalf of Pocono Record and Tri-County Independent, I want to thank our community for opening their hearts and wallets to help local families year after year. I’m grateful for all of you, and I’m still grateful for my family’s mysterious ‘friend’, even after all these years.
Season of Generosity:These Poconos, Northeast Pennsylvania Charities Deserve Your Donation
How to donate to Toys for Joy
This year we are expanding our reach to include our sister newspaper, the Tri-County Independent. TCI serves readers in Wayne, East Lackawanna, and North Pike counties. Pocono Record serves readers in Monroe and South Pike counties. Our reporters have been working as a unified team for nearly two years.
Donations must be made online, by check or money order only. No cash can be accepted.
To donate online, go to poconorecord.com/toysforjoy or formstack.io/21E47.
Checks should be made payable to AllOne Charities and mailed to 83 East Union St., Wilkes Barre, PA 18701.
— Ashley Fontones is the managing editor of Pocono Record and Tri-County Independent. Contact her by emailing afontones@gannett.com.
