There’s no denying that part-time jobs are stressful. Even if they only take part of your time, they still require your full attention. You would think that, in the wonderful world of Mario Party, you can escape this type of work. But no. Some jobs that the population of the Mushroom Kingdom consider menial work have been cleverly disguised as mini-games. Otherwise, why would you get paid ten coins for a stressful shift when Boo gets paid fifty to steal a star?
As if trying to become the Superstar in fifteen turns wasn’t hard enough, now you have to work your tail too. You can’t fool us Mario Party, we know these minigames are actually part-time jobs.
10/10 Sizzling stakes
When Sizzling Stakes was first introduced, we were amazed at how appetizing the food was and how the cube of steak turned from bright pink to deliciously cooked brown, like a real piece of meat. We were so distracted by the frying pan motion controls, the kitchen aesthetics, and the final photographic meal that we completely missed what this mini-game was really about: a part-time job as a chef. .
Think about it, you’re cooking this meal for a customer at this establishment – you wouldn’t nicely cook the steak and put it on a cart if it was your own house – you’re working it for a single minigame position, and if you fail, your salary is withheld. Sounds like a job to us.
9/10 Cake Factory
It’s pretty easy to see why Cake Factory is a part-time job, as it resembles the mass production and need for efficiency that a large food company would demand from its employees. For this mini-game, your main objective and that of your partner is to assemble strawberry cakes. One person is in charge of placing the berry, the other is in charge of the cake. It would be a simple task if the two objects weren’t hurtling past you on a fast treadmill.
We can guarantee you that at the end of this mini-game, you won’t walk away with any of the delicious cakes you decorated. No, instead you will get your meager pay back and be asked to place more orders next time.
The restaurant industry in the Mushroom Kingdom must be sorely lacking if they continue to hire the Mario Party crew. In Order Up, you must correctly prepare a combo meal that Toad wants. And no, Toad can’t turn around and place his order at checkout. He wants you and your partner, the part-timers of this establishment, to compose his specific demands.
Not only that, but all food items were hidden under identical takeout containers that no one thought to label properly. Can Toad at least give us some advice if we pass this mini-game without errors?
7/10 sugar rush
Different part, same inexplicable need to employ us for cake decorating. Fortunately, there are no treadmills in Sugar Rush. Instead, you must copy the drawing to the display cake. Sounds easy and soothing, right?
Well, it would be if it wasn’t also a competition. Here you have to decorate your cake faster than your opponents. For this part-time job, you need speed, precision and teamwork. Only this will prove your worth to the cake decorating community and allow you to walk away with the prize money.
Do you remember the days when you mowed your neighbor’s lawn for a few bucks and maybe a cup of lemonade? Well here you can do it for the price of half a star. But only if you win. And the way you win in Mowtown is to mow the most grass.
Yes, prove to your employer that you did all the work and mowing his lawn wasn’t a team effort, and you’ll be rewarded with ten shiny coins. So start those engines and have fun driving the world’s slowest lawn mower.
5/10 Recorder heads
Ah, chopping wood for camping or for a scorched fireplace. Another job where your payment wasn’t worth the hours of sweaty movement, blisters, and concentration on the path of your very sharp axe. Alas, this mini-game is another part-time job in disguise. Logger Heads is where you need to chop wood for the Whittles. Whoever manages to chop three logs wins the fastest.
Did we mention that this profession also comes with an explosive warning? It’s true, sometimes a Bob-omb will end up on the chopping block, and you definitely don’t want to hit it.
4/10 Dust till dawn
If this mini-game wasn’t a three-on-one race, you could very well dust this house until dawn. Dust ’till Dawn is, above all, a dusting mini-game where you have to free the furniture from thick layers of dust. If you are part of the trio team, this will mean cleaning a large living room and dining room. If you are alone, you will have a small room to dust yourself.
Dusting is already a tedious task if it’s not done once a week, and someone has certainly allowed weeks of dust to build up. If you’re not gutted yet, know that this gig doesn’t pay well either. Ten coins as a thank you for inhaling all those filthy particles.
3/10 dust friends
Seriously, who leaves all these dusty rooms? And why did employers assume that partygoers would be the ideal cleaning staff? Dust Buddies is another three-on-one dusting mini-game, but instead of using dusters, both teams use vacuum cleaners. On top of that, now the whole floor is covered in gray dust bunnies.
The main objective here is to collect the most dust, with the solo player getting a single-head vacuum with stronger suction and more mobility while the trio team gets a shared three-head vacuum with less suction and mobility. Hey, weren’t you supposed to collect stars, not dust? How many times are you going to be asked to clean up this franchise?
2/10 own team
We spoke too soon. As if the title of this minigame wasn’t already a dead giveaway, Clean Team again involves cleaning. Windows specifically. In this two-on-two mini-game, the two teammates, one equipped with a spray bottle, the other with a rag, must clean and wipe the dirt that has become embedded in the windows of several poor Goombas.
Somehow, Mario partygoers struggled with this part-time job with no prior instructions besides climbing buildings, dodging stationary buckets, and cleaning windows. Management could have at least told them not to run on a slippery podium. Let’s hope there are no more part-time cleaning mini-games left…
1/10 bus buffer
Talk about the devil, there’s one more. This last part-time cleaning job is Bus Buffer, where you have to clean up another employee’s messes. Literally. Oh, you wanted that shy guy who spilled the paint bucket to help you clean up the mess they made? Well never mind, apparently they have more important work to do. Which leaves you and your partner with the slow and tedious task of dabbing the roof of the bus until it glows.
Even though it would be against part-time rules (I mean, party rules), can’t the other Shy Guys at least get the hang of it? Is that too much to ask?
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