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Husband Gets Warmth From Family For Asking Wife SAHM For Work – SheKnows

One of the decidedly less romantic things about marriage and starting a family is merging finances and finding an arrangement that feels fair and works for your household. But it’s an important part that you will no doubt need to adjust and troubleshoot as your family grows and life’s ups and downs hit you.

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Dad wants SAHM’s wife back to work because she doesn’t watch their son and Reddit agrees


A poster in Reddit’s AITA column found himself struggling with this troubleshooting when circumstances changed enough that he had to ask his wife, who has been SAHM since 2006, if she could get a part-time job now that their children are 10, 14 and 15 and are all in school. His reaction ? It wasn’t too pleasant.

“She told me I lied when I said she could be a stay-at-home mom when we got married — and her family and mine agree with her,” the poster wrote. “But I said it’s starting to be a mental strain for me financially, as I’ve taken two pay cuts at work and don’t have the luxury of looking for a new job.”

He went on to mention that the change in their family’s needs (plus, like, everyone financial looking very different than they did in 2006) even led him to do weekend food deliveries. to keep his older children in their sports programs – and he still had to say ‘no’ to their youngest child to do gymnastics because they couldn’t afford it.

“Now she says if I can’t afford a family, why did I get married?” add the poster. “I don’t know what to do… our needs have changed — since the children need a lot more money now than they did when they were younger. And now my wife hasn’t spoken to me in two weeks and both sides of the family are okay with her.

And everything feels like a lot. While the poster said he even offered to find her a home job to help out during school hours, he said she and their families always acted like he had to be the one to win. income no matter what. Other editors, however, had a different opinion, believing that his wife should be more flexible and understand the family’s financial needs. Moreover, the elephant in the room that a partnership ideally requires more mutual support and durability than an adamant refusal to compromise and two weeks of silent treatment.

As one commentator eloquently put it: “NTA. Times are changing, inflation is high, money is tight… And it’s not like your salary is entirely in your control. It would be one thing if you said, “Yeah, I don’t feel like working anymore” and expected your wife to take a full-time job to pay for EVERYTHING, but that’s not happening. . You do what you can and ask him for help. I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s SUPPOSED to work! »

No one is saying being an SAHM or the Duty Stay-at-Home Parent isn’t a job – it absolutely is! – but once the more hands-on, intensive parts of the job are over and the children are older, reassess and discuss household needs absolutely not a betrayal of previous agreements.

And according to another commentator, r/bamf1701, the OP’s “lying” claims about making their partner a stay-at-home parent are baseless — and the long-term harm to a partner bearing all the financial burden can be even worse than a few missed extracurricular activities: “Your needs have changed, so the family situation must change. You have never lied to your wife: she was able to be SAHM for 16 years. And you basically work 2 jobs. If it doesn’t help you, you will burn out.

Before you go, check out the best (and most affordable!) mental health apps:
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